Promise
by ballisticbunny
Summary: What would happen in an oh-so-perfect world (that one in my head) GSR. Oh and they in no way belong to me but a girl can dream...and dream...and-you get the idea.


Promise  
  
Sara rapped a second time on the door to Grissom's office. Again there was no response yet she had seen him walk in not ten minutes before. Gingerly she pushed open the door awaiting a bark of rebuffal.  
  
"Griss?"  
  
"Shut the door!"  
  
The response sounded muffled but she did as he commanded. Tracing the source of his voice she ducked down to look beneath the desk.  
  
"Griss? What are you doing?"  
  
"Lucy got out of her tank and I think I saw her crawl under here."  
  
"You lost your Tarantula? Can't you like, make a spider noise and call her to you?"  
  
Grissom looked over the rim of his glasses at her grinning face.  
  
"Spiders don't respond well to noise Sara. You should know that. If you want to be useful you could help me find her before Catherine finds out, you know how she is with 'bugs'."  
  
Sarah knelt down opposite Grissom and began combing the area immediately around her, absorbing herself in this task as she did her work.  
  
Grissom on the other hand was paying less attention to the floor and more to the way Sara's hair swung around her face, curling slightly as it reached her chin. He loved her hair, especially when it was loose to frame her sweet face with its deep, dark eyes, the tender lips and the small gap between her front teeth that made her mouth so-  
  
"Griss?"  
  
The whisper broke his concentration and he started, hitting his head on the underside of his desk.  
  
"What-?"  
  
"Griss, she's on my ankle, I can feel her climbing up my leg."  
  
"Oh, Lucy, of course."  
  
Regaining his composure he backed out of the small space, stood up and walked around the desk, stretching out his muscles as he went. When he got around behind Sara he knelt again and spying Lucy on the back of Sara's knee, cupped his hand around her to pick her up. Sara let out a stifled giggle.  
  
"Sara? Did I hurt you?"  
  
"No! You just hit my ticklish spot! Do you have her yet?"  
  
She started trying to wriggle out.  
  
"Wait a second" He again attempted to pick up the large arachnid, succeeding now and placing her carefully in her tank, remembering this time to shut the lid. His concentration had been a little off the in past few weeks.  
  
He turned around to see the reason for that crawling backwards before standing up and turning to him, dusting off her jeans. She looked up at him before he could take the enthralled stare off his face. She had one nice rear end as he knew from the many moments he had caught himself eying it.  
  
"Uhm, Griss? You okay? I mean Lucy's fine right, so you're alright, you don't need anything else."  
  
She was rambling to cover up her discomfort. Grissom stepped forwards so his body was mere inches away from hers and reached out his hand to brush off a piece of fluff she'd picked up on her shoulder. Except once his hand was touching her he couldn't bring himself to remove it. She didn't move, merely stared up into his eyes, mouth slightly open, her eyes wide and darkening from their usual chocolate brown. His left hand rose to hold onto her other shoulder, holding her in a loose grasp.  
  
"Griss-?"  
  
Her voice was husky.  
  
"Shush Sara"  
  
His hands had started kneading her shoulders now, unknotting the tense muscles there. She moaned softly and leaned into him, savouring the sensation of his hands shifting up her neck, his fingertips still slowly rotating. She put out a hand to steady herself, placing it against his stomach and temporarily stilling the movement of his hands. He closed his eyes and leaned in even closer, working on feel now. His hands cupped her face, the thumbs stroking her cheekbones. She tilted her head up towards his, watching his eyes open just before their lips met.  
  
Their eyes stayed locked together as their tongues tentatively joined, until they settled into the rhythm of the kiss, strengthening it and sending nameless emotions coursing through them both.  
  
"Grissom? Sara? Are you guys in there? Only we've got a case come in and you guys are the only ones free. Hello?"  
  
Catherine's voice broke the moment and they pulled back, breathing heavily. Grissom was the first one to regain his senses sufficiently to respond.  
  
"We'll be out in a second Catherine, Lucy escaped"  
  
"Oh my god! Ok I'll meet you in the break room. Stay in there 'til she's nice and safe"  
  
They heard Catherine's feet tapping away from the office at a rather smart pace.  
  
"Are you ok Sara?"  
  
She nodded mutely. She had felt the buried electricity between them ever since she had transferred here but never dreamed that he would act on it: that had never been his style. She was still lost in her thoughts as she followed him off to get the case briefing.  
  
********  
  
Grissom glanced over at Sara. The atmosphere in the car on their return from the scene was quiet and he was worried he had overstepped the mark. After all what could she see in him, an introspective, loner who also happened to be her boss? No to mention the years he had on her.  
  
"Sara? I wanted to apologise for my behaviour in my office. It was unprofessional of me and I hope it won't alter our working relationship. It shouldn't have happened and it won't happen again. I hope we can forget about it and not let it affect the lab. Hopefully we can just move past it"  
  
He was facing front as he spoke, his eyes on the red traffic signal in front of them. She turned her head incredulously, not wanting to believe what he had said yet knowing in her heart it was only what she had been expecting. She tried to speak normally but couldn't keep her anger down.  
  
"You're telling me that was a mistake? That all those good feelings were wrong?"  
  
Her voice which had started out quiet was now rising.  
  
"You finally follow your heart after all this time and because the result was too much for you, you don't want to risk it again?" "Well screw you Grissom and screw your precious lab. You may be able to hide your feelings away in a little box labelled 'Difficult' but I won't do that. I thought you'd changed but obviously I was wrong. You can apologise all you like for your behaviour but I'm damned if I'll apologise for mine."  
  
She screamed the last words at him and threw open the car door. She ran blindly, not noticing the approaching lights or hearing Grissom yelling her name in anguished warning.  
  
******** When she came round she was in a white sheeted bed with a drip in her arm. The hospital, she was in the hospital. Forcing her eyes fully open she saw Nick's anxious face staring down at her pale one, holding her hands between his warm ones.  
  
"Sara?" Can you hear me? Are you in pain?"  
  
His voice was tense, afraid of the answers. She croaked his name and tried to sit up, hating her body for letting her down and having to rely on Nick to support her.  
  
"Nicky? What happened? Why am I in here?" She ached all over.  
  
"You don't remember Sar? You were in an accident. You got hit by an SUV that ran a stop sign. Course you were in the middle of the road at the time." His attempt at humour fell flat when he saw her confused face.  
  
"Why would I do that?"  
  
"Well the only person who can tell you that is Grissom and so far he hasn't told anybody."  
  
"Great, typical Grissom. I'll just lie here and wait then. You might want to bring more grapes; I could be here some time."  
  
Nick grinned, Sara wasn't that badly injured if she could still make her usual cutting remarks.  
  
"Hey laughter boy! When can I get the hell out of this place?"  
  
"I don't know Sar, you've been out of it for a couple of days and your ankle is broken"  
  
"It is? Jesus I never even realised" She stared down at the cast on her left ankle Nick made sure he was already standing before he replied, injured or not Sara could be pretty scary sometimes  
  
"Well you always were pretty slow on the uptake Sidle!" Nick left her grimacing at not being able to retaliate.  
  
"Two weeks! There is no way I'm staying here that long, I'll discharge myself if I have to"  
  
"Oh no you won't Miss Sidle" came a familiar deep voice.  
  
She focused her eyes past the doctor and smiled with joy.  
  
"Gil!"  
  
His eyes widened almost imperceptibly at her unusual use of his first name. He turned instead to her doctor.  
  
"Is there no way she can be released before then? She has been here a week already"  
  
Doctor Ramirez sighed.  
  
"I understand Miss Sidle lives alone. Although she could be released tomorrow if her test results pan out as expected, she shouldn't be alone. She will still be suffering from dizzy spells, she's seriously bruised all over and I doubt she's strong enough yet to get around on crutches."  
  
"I am here you know" came a muttered oath from the patient.  
  
Grissom ignored her.  
  
"What about if she wasn't on her own? If, for example, she stayed with me for while?"  
  
He kept his tone even, although inside he was burning with the hope that the doctor would agree. He had to make it up to Sara somehow, he was the whole reason she was here and to make it worse she didn't even know it, he could still see the trust in her eyes that he thought he had foolishly extinguished.  
  
"Well if Miss Sidle agreed, that would be an acceptable plan. But you have to be prepared to care for her; she's still very weak and will need someone with her for at least 10 days."  
  
"That's fine. I'll be here tomorrow morning" He turned to Sara, smiling inwardly at her slack jawed look.  
  
"I'll be here by nine to help you out, if you try and lift a finger I'll leave you here. Agreed?"  
  
She nodded mutely, wondering at this sudden masterful side to Grissom that she didn't recall seeing before. As he left he swept her hair back from her forehead, allowing his hand to linger only a second or two before bidding her farewell.  
  
********  
  
She was awake and dressed by 8.30, having coerced a nurse into helping her not only dress but pack up her few things. By 9.05 Grissom was wheeling her out to his car inwardly laughing at her frustration at not being allowed to walk out herself. When they got to the car he opened the passenger door and seeing her struggling to stand gently swept her up in his arms, placing her carefully in the centre of the seat. She swatted his hand away embarrassed as he tried to help her with her seatbelt.  
  
"I'm not a complete invalid you know" The words came out sharper than intended but he merely nodded and walked away to return the wheelchair, before returning to start the car. As Grissom drove he could feel his hands tightening on the wheel. His self control, once his most well exercised emotion, was slipping. The last time he and Sara had been in the car together he had hurt her, both mentally and physically. Nice one Grissom, he thought to himself, you really know how to impress a girl.  
  
"Grissom? If you drive any slower I might as well have stayed in the hospital because it'll be two weeks before we get home!"  
  
Softening her tone she added  
  
"Its ok, I can't remember the accident. I'm not afraid of cars because of it"  
  
"I am."  
  
His stark reply astounded her. She let a few seconds pass before she continued.  
  
"What happened to me Grissom? Nick said only you know and well, I need to know too. The doctor said I'm blocking it out because it's too painful but I can handle it"  
  
"No Sara, I'm supposed to allow you to remember yourself. It could be a shock if it all flashes back again and your mind needs to take it at its own pace okay?"  
  
Glancing over, he saw her miserable expression.  
  
"I'm sorry"  
  
"I figured you wouldn't tell me but I had to try. Its just so frustrating, I hate the not knowing."  
  
"Not knowing isn't not so bad"  
  
The pain was evident in his quiet voice.  
  
"Why Griss?"  
  
"Because you may not like me very much when you do"  
  
********  
  
"Noooo, stop! Grissooooom"  
  
The screams sent Grissom flying out of bed and rushing into his guest bedroom where he had left Sara sleeping earlier that night.  
  
"Sara honey, what's wrong?"  
  
She was sitting bolt upright, sweating, the covers around her rumpled.  
  
"I saw it Grissom, I saw the car coming at me-"  
  
She broke into sobs. He sat on the bed beside her and put his arms around her, pulling her down to his chest.  
  
"Ssh now Sara, its ok you're safe now, you're safe sweetie"  
  
She looked up through her teary eyes.  
  
"Stay with me please Grissom. I don't want to be alone. I feel better with you here. Promise you won't leave me"  
  
He nodded, stroking her hair until her breathing became quiet and regular.  
  
"I could never leave you Sara"  
  
The next day Sara insisted on accompanying him to the supermarket, he needed to stock up and he felt she was safer where he could keep an eye on her anyway.  
  
"Tofu? You actually eat that?"  
  
"Just because nothing was killed to make it doesn't make it tasteless Grissom"  
  
He made no comment to that but she was touched when at the checkout she noticed he had replaced various items with their vegetarian alternatives. Back at the house Grissom prepared lunch, making Sara sit at the breakfast bar watching.  
  
"Pleeease can I help" Sara whined.  
  
"No way. You heard what the doctor said, complete rest"  
  
"But you'll be back at work soon right? I'll have to take care of myself then"  
  
"Actually I have the next two weeks off. I said I'd stay with you remember, you shouldn't be on your own. Don't worry you'll get stronger then you can return to being as independent as you ever were." He turned back to his chopping board as he finished his sentence. Sara paused figuring out what to say to breach the distance between them she felt had appeared.  
  
"Ok what about a game of chess? I bet I can whup you at that"  
  
"I'd like to see you try!"  
  
The day passed quickly with the assistance of the chessboard, ending up with Sara one game ahead.  
  
"Grissom. Could you help me to bed please? I feel a little tired"  
  
He glanced up at her sharply; it was unlike her to admit weakness. He set the chess table aside and bent to pick her up.  
  
"Griss you really don't have to do that. If you put your back out who's going to bring me breakfast in bed?!"  
  
He shrugged.  
  
"You weigh next to nothing Sara. Besides I like to do it."  
  
She gave up. If she was honest with herself she kind of liked it too. Once she was settled he kissed her on the forehead and turned to leave the room  
  
"Grissom"  
  
Her voice stilled his movement.  
  
"Would you stay with me again tonight? Please."  
  
When he left the room she thought she'd pushed him too far. She knew his time alone was important to him. She rolled over and allowed a single tear to fall before drifting off to sleep. Half an hour later, showered and changed, Grissom stood outside her door, touching the handle. He took a deep breath and entered the room, He climbed quietly into the bed and spooned himself around her, his arm holding her to him. His last thought was that he should enjoy this closeness while he could.  
  
When Sara awoke she found herself facing Grissom's chest, his arm looped over her, his hand just above her rear end. She immediately felt torn. She had slept peacefully and felt so protected in his arms yet never before had she spent a whole night with someone holding her like this. Usually she felt trapped and became restless.  
  
She started wriggling her way from beneath his arm panic rising in her throat. She couldn't let herself get too attached to this man, he could hurt her. Like he did before, she thought suddenly without knowing why.  
  
But as the days passed they continued to spend all their time together, talking, laughing, battling their wits in endless games of chess and rehashing old cases. And every night Sara fell asleep in Grissom's arms. Now when she woke up she stayed where she was, holding onto him as he held onto her.  
  
On the morning he was due back at work he awoke with the dawn to see Sara still sleeping. He was glad, not only because she needed the rest but also because tonight he would have to face the real world again and let it intrude on the tenuous peace they held.  
  
He started stroking her hair, softly so as not to wake her. Then, before he even realised what he was doing he bent his head down to hers and briefly touched his lips to hers, before catching himself and tearing himself away.  
  
"Don't stop"  
  
Wide awake now he tried to convince himself she was dreaming. That worked until her eyes flicked open and she pressed closer, filling the silence with her warmth and soft curves.  
  
"Well?" she prompted.  
  
"You're sure honey?"  
  
By way of an answer she pushed against him and began stroking his back.  
  
He groaned. He had tried so hard to be strong but -  
  
Their lips met, strong probing lips that sought to give as much as take. He ran his hands down her sides, instinctively gentle over the remainder of her bruises. She shivered as he held her hips, pulling her over him so he could slide the long T-shirt she slept in over her head. Turning her onto her back again he kissed up her neck ending at her soft lips. She arched towards him then raked up his back with her short nails. Grissom began kissing his way down her body towards her injured ankle, now in a smaller cast. He made a ring of kisses around her injury then worked his way back up this time lingering on her thighs.  
  
"You're so beautiful" He murmured  
  
She smiled at hearing the unusually frank words coming from his mouth and he chose that moment to plunge his tongue deep inside her. She gasped, her blood heating. Her hands found their way to his head where she ran her fingers through his hair over and over. He struggled to keep the rhythm but continued to lick and dart his tongue until she broke, her fingers tightening on the curls of hair she held, finding her voice to cry out his name, echoing through the room.  
  
As the vibrations slowed she recovered enough to slide down beneath him and pull off his boxers, releasing his erection. She rubbed the back of her hand up and down his shaft, delighting in seeing the sweat break out on his brow.  
  
His eyes were almost purple as he pulled her hand away with difficulty and rolled over, placing her on top of him before nudging his way inside her, little by little revelling in the sweet sensations she was bringing him. He tensed as she settled onto him, then began to move, using her hands on his shoulders as leverage.  
  
She slowed her movements to almost nothing then sped up, riding him until he cried her name, spilling himself out inside of her, all his prized self control obliterated, smashed by the woman he now accepted he loved. They drifted off again, holding each other tightly.  
  
********  
  
"Sara?" Grissom called as he entered his house the next morning. There was no response and an air of emptiness filled the rooms, then he noticed the envelope propped up on the breakfast bar.  
  
He sat down slowly his heart pounding. This was it; he knew his future was in this envelope. He slit it open and pulled out the paper  
  
"Gil, Firstly I need to say thank you. I don't think I ever said it or if I did I didn't say it enough. I appreciate you opening your home and your life to me and taking care of me even when I thought I didn't need it - you were there for me and that has touched me in a way I won't forget. However I remembered today, why I ran from you. I don't blame you, it was my choice to run into that road, but it raises questions not only about us but about myself. We're both loners Gil and I don't want to be in a relationship with you when there's the possibility of either one of us running the way I did. I don't know if you even want a relationship. So we should spend some time apart to think things through and evaluate. And Gil, don't forget all we've shared. It was precious to me and I hope it was to you. Don't lose sight of that. Yours, Sara."  
  
It was only as he read it for the third time he realised the words were blurring, the ink smearing beneath his tears. Standing, he placed the sheet of notepaper back into the envelope and walked into the guest bedroom. He lay down on the bed where only this morning he had felt such joy, and cried himself to sleep.  
  
********  
  
"Sara! Welcome back!" Nick and Warrick enveloped her into a joint hug, squashing her between them.  
  
"Guys, guys easy on the recovering invalid ok?"  
  
They let go sheepishly, moving back to let Catherine take her turn.  
  
"Hey Sar, how are you feeling? Bad luck getting flu just when you were recovering. We've been a CSI down for almost two months now! And speaking of bugs. how was it living with Grissom for two weeks?"  
  
"Yeah he's certainly seemed to miss you since he's been back. Totally withdrawn" chimed in Nick.  
  
"Like you can tell!" added Warrick wryly  
  
Sara shifted uncomfortably.  
  
"Well I still feel a little sick but it's good to be back. And Grissom was fine, he's a good guy."  
  
"Yeah the perfect gentleman" suggested Catherine  
  
Sara shot her a pleading look. Catherine definitely knew something was up but she didn't want the boys to start suspecting anything either. Catherine gave in.  
  
"Well anyway he said to send you to his office when you got here."  
  
Sara nodded and turned to go.  
  
"And Sar? Don't let him scare you okay?"  
  
She had just raised her hand to tap on his office door when it opened before her.  
  
"Sara. You're here"  
  
Grissom looked flustered. Sara, looking up at him recalled the last time she had seen him, , when she fell asleep in his arms.  
  
"Yeah I'm back. Like the bad penny you just can't get rid of" she said brightly.  
  
"I would never want to get rid of you Sara. I mean you're my best CSI" he added in quickly. He had told himself not to pressure her in any way.  
  
He led her back into his office.  
  
"I just wanted to make sure you were totally fit to come back to work. Getting that bug so soon on in your recovery must have taken it out of you. Although you're looking.well"  
  
She looked more beautiful than ever he thought. There was a serenity in her face he had not seen before.  
  
"I'm fine Grissom, honestly. But.maybe we could go get some breakfast at the end of shift. I've been thinking about, well everything and I know what I'm feeling now"  
  
He paused for what felt to her like an eternity.  
  
"I'd like that Sara. Meet me back here after shift. Now we better go send you back to work. There was a double body find an hour ago that has your name on it. Sara stood and followed him into the hall ready for the handout of cases.  
  
A long arduous shift later with the sun still rising Sara waited outside Grissom's office. She felt tired so she slumped down onto the floor, back against the wall. His heart turned over when he saw her like that, her long legs stretched out in front of her.  
  
"You ok?"  
  
She looked up flashing that brilliant smile of hers that showed the gap between her teeth.  
  
"Sure" she said giving him her hand to pull her up with.  
  
They were quiet in the car, saving the real conversation until they were settled in a secluded booth to the rear of the diner. Grissom waited until after they had ordered before saying  
  
"I missed you"  
  
She looked clear into his eyes.  
  
"I missed you too Griss. I missed waking up in the morning with you holding me. I missed falling asleep in your arms, knowing you'd keep me safe. And I missed just"  
  
She searched for the words, falling quiet, her posture slumping a little. Grissom waited.  
  
"I missed-"  
  
She slumped to one side her head falling back with a nasty crack onto the plastic seat back.  
  
"Sara? Don't do this to me again Sara please!"  
  
He was by her side in seconds  
  
"Call 911 damnit!" He yelled at the gawping waitress  
  
Sara, struggling back to consciousness, smiled inwardly. She had never before heard him curse.  
  
"Griss" she murmured  
  
"Griss I'm fine. Just a little tired"  
  
He frowned at her.  
  
"You're going to the hospital Sara, don't fight me on this one"  
  
She shut her eyes and waited for the paramedics. At least it proved he still cared.  
  
Grissom was with her in the ER cubicle when the doctor returned.  
  
"Miss Sidle? I have the results of your tests here, Perhaps I could talk to you alone?"  
  
Sara looked sideways at Grissom and felt him squeeze her hand, ready to remove it and leave her.  
  
"No! I want him here, its okay, just tell me - us."  
  
She felt Grissom's hand tighten around hers again.  
  
"If you insist. Mostly they came back negative and you're fully recovered from your previous injuries. One of the tests, however, came back positive. I'm very pleased to tell you you're pregnant Miss Sidle. We believe your collapse was due to the virus weakening your system. You have to learn to listen to what your body tells you and give it time to recover but otherwise you're as strong as a horse. I'll be back in a few moments with some supplements you should take and some further information for you to take away and look at. Then you can be discharged"  
  
The doctor left a silent room  
  
"Oh my god Gil I-"  
  
Her face held an expression of shock and wonderment peculiarly mixed. Grissom hugged her to him.  
  
"Sara, my Sara"  
  
She pulled away and held him at arms length, trembling slightly.  
  
"Gil. How do you feel about this? You don't need to feel trapped ok. If-"  
  
Her voice cracked, then strengthened again.  
  
"If you don't want to be a part of this I'll understand"  
  
She looked away, not daring to see his reaction.  
  
"Sara I love you! Of course I want to be a part of 'this'. This is life we've created Sara, its special, its part of us, together. What in the world could I want more than that?"  
  
She looked back at him to read his eyes.  
  
"Really?"  
  
He cupped her face with his hands so that their eyes were just inches apart.  
  
"You are my sun, my moon and my stars. When I wake up in the morning I'm already thinking about you and when I go to sleep at night I dream about you. Without you I am nothing and with you I am everything. I want to grow old with you and our children and spend my days making you happy"  
  
She could feel the tears sliding silently down her cheekbones.  
  
"I love you Gil Grissom. And I promise to never run away again. I want to be by your side forever, where I belong."  
  
They leaned in close to meld their lips together, emotions sky high. They didn't even notice the doctor arrive, place some pamphlets by the bed, and pad out again. They were too immersed in their own hard-won happiness. 


End file.
